10. You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the Earth.
9. Mosquitoes catch a buzz after attacking you.
8. The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat.
7. Your idea of cutting back is less salt.
6. You can focus better with one eye closed.
5. You fall off the floor.
5. The whole bar greets you when you come in.
Does my butt look fat in this?
I’m tired of beer. What say you to a nice, fruity Chablis?
I can’t stop fantasizing about Dr. Ruth!
Yours is bigger than mine.
I think those big, jacked-up trucks look ridiculous.
There’s nothing I like more than a quiet evening at home, watching a movie on Lifetime about some woman who gives up her baby and then suffers miserably.
You ticked him off once and your next phone bill was for $20,000.He’s won the Publisher’s Clearing House sweepstakes 3 years running.
He placed bets that Justin would not win the first American Idol.
When asked for his phone number, he gives it in hex.
Seems strangely calm whenever the office system goes down.
Somehow gets HBO on his PC at work.
Mumbled, "Oh, puh-leeez" 95 times during the movie "The Net".
When his computer starts up, you hear, "Good Morning, Mr. President".
You hear him murmur, "Let’s see you use that Visa card now, dumbass."
When you ask him to help you with a computer problem, he say’s "Sure, that will be a picnic!" (PICNIC in techy lingo stands for Problem In Chair Not In Computer).
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